My wife is an immortal black snake.

Page 1

My wife is an immortal black snake.

Introduction

Through a dating app, a 30-year-old single time traveler found a future wife he liked.

Although my wife can be gloomy at times and often says things that are hard to understand, she cares about me a lot, and our sex life is very fulfilling. Apart from the fact that she sometimes works hard for that [Ursus] thing, there's nothing wrong with her.

until one day...

"Um? Koschche, you..."

"This is my new body, so what?"

Looking at his wife, who had a completely new body but whose personality remained gloomy and eccentric.

Yang Hao swallowed hard, thinking to himself that he seemed to have discovered an incredible secret.

Volume One

Chapter One

"This feels awful," Yang Hao muttered, shrinking his neck and hoping the thick collar would bring him some warmth in the cold wind.

This feeling wasn't just "terrible," it was downright awful. Yang Hao had once again returned empty-handed. He had lost count of how long he had been pursuing that messenger of natural disasters. So long that he had gone from a young man to a nearly 28-year-old man, so long that he had cut his short, black hair countless times, eventually turning it into a slicked-back style.

"My friend, you got rejected again?" A fat, middle-aged man with a large belly, still holding a beer bottle, looked at him.

"That's right. You're a clever, fat, chubby bastard. How did you guess?"

“Even when you’re faced with the toughest job, you wouldn’t say ‘it’s terrible.’ The last time I heard you say that was when that Miss Margarita rejected your date request because of her duty as a messenger of natural disasters.” The middle-aged fat man said with a smile, then took a swig of beer. “Four years? Five years? Six years? Even a shut-in like me who no one wants is married, and your long-term relationship with Miss Messenger of Natural Disasters still hasn’t seen any hope.”

"...You damned Jack."

Would you like some drinks?

After Jack's words, Yang Hao, who was looking dejected and in a bad mood, realized he was actually thirsty. He sighed heavily, took the beer bottle Jack offered, and sat down with him on a bench by the street to rest for a while.

A married man and an unmarried man—an odd combination. They were drinking silently on the street in broad daylight on their day off. Jack kept complaining to Yang Hao about the downsides of marriage, and while Yang Hao drank in silence, feeling resentful and envious, he was also genuinely considering whether he should give up pursuing Miss Natural Disaster Messenger and go after other girls instead.

He's 28 years old this year, and the white shirt and grey British-style waistcoat he's always worn since transmigrating have faded with time. The woman he's been pursuing, named Margarita, is a Sarkaz blood demon who's supposedly 26 this year, but who knows how old she really is?

It's said that even after two hundred years, Blood Demons still appear younger than a 20-year-old human. Their relationships seem to be measured in years, or at the very least, months? Yang Hao wasn't sure; he only knew he'd been pursuing Margarita for several years, and their relationship was currently ambiguous—like friends, yet not quite. Like lovers, but seemingly more like friends.

"So, dear Steward Yang Hao, your goal of getting married before you turn 30 is probably out of the question. That's the Sarkaz Blood Demon, you know. She might subconsciously think you can wait 20 years, which is actually just two months to them."

"Ugh... I'm really upset, so can we not talk about it anymore?" His lips twitched, and he took another swig of his drink. "And don't call me General Manager—what's so great about being the General Manager of a lousy company?"

“But if you’re still pursuing Miss Margarita, then that’s true, isn’t it?” Jack shrugged. “And even a manager at a lousy company is better off than an ordinary worker. Everyone knows your special Originium Arts can feed everyone without worrying about those dozens of pages of contracts.”

"Sigh, don't even mention it... Here, your wine. I really need to start thinking about pursuing other girls."

“I really don’t think it will work. The girls who used to pursue you all gave up after they found out you were pursuing a messenger of natural disasters. If you go to them now, you’ll just get beaten up by their boyfriends.”

"Then what do you think I can do? I'm almost 30 years old, and there's absolutely no way I can live forever like the Blood Demon. What can I do? I can't just stay single for the rest of my life, can I?"

"Actually, being single is pretty good. Once you become a great magician after you turn 30 and can conjure fireballs, that's great. I lost a lot of weight after I got married, you must know that."

"Fuck you! Is it fun to brag about your family life in front of a heartbroken man?! I'm leaving."

"Then go back and cry into your pillow—don't forget that the building is going to be topped out tomorrow."

Yang Hao jumped angrily off the bench, waved his hand to indicate that he understood, and left. He wandered aimlessly through the streets for a while, then bought a grilled sandworm leg covered in chili powder from a street food stall for lunch before heading towards his home.

......

Yang Hao's home is located in a working-class neighborhood of a mobile city in Louisiana, Colombia. Although he experienced a long period of instability when he first transmigrated to this magical world full of beast-eared girls, he even suffered a scar diagonally across his left earlobe after trying to avoid attacks from patients suffering from a contagious terminal illness called "Oripathy."

Fortunately, he and the Sarkaz Blood Demon named Margarita survived a natural disaster and, thanks to his special achievements, obtained citizenship and residency in the Colombian mobile city, finding a job in a small company.

Although it was initially a less-than-respectable manual labor job, he soon realized that his Originium Arts in this world were somewhat special.

This Originium Arts allows him to turn the people around him into puppet-like beings, much like playing Paradox Interactive games on home computers from the last world. When he uses Originium Arts, the affected individuals still retain their individual consciousness, but they are integrated into a group, and all possible consequences of dissatisfaction or demands within the group are simply categorized into several numerical values.

Things like "loyalty," "resistance," and "happiness." When he first used this Originium Arts, he thought he was playing a game he used to love called "Hearts of Iron," but in the end, he realized that this ability was not like that, and that the consumption and cost were also very high.

Yang Hao calls his unique ability "Puppet Stage," and he used it several times to secure the position of "General Manager" in his company. However, he now has money, a house, friends, a stable income, and even achievements in the city...

So what was he lacking? He lacked a woman to spend his life with! He wanted to settle down and start a family, and he longed to pass on the wealth he had earned to his family... but alas, he failed.

"Phew... I'm home... Let's eat quickly. I need to find a girlfriend, get married, and settle down as soon as possible..."

He had naively assumed that since he was the one who had rescued Margarita from her gloom, she should reciprocate with the same affection. But perhaps it's true what they say about the three great illusions of life? After pursuing her for years and being repeatedly rejected, he finally decided to give up today.

Perhaps Margarita wanted to wait a few more years to test the stability of their relationship before entering into a romantic relationship? But Yang Hao wasn't a Sarkaz Blood Demon; he couldn't live that long. His youth was almost over; he was just an ordinary human...

It's already 1042 years! In a few more years... he can't wait that long.

　Moreover, what Jack said to him not long ago made him very angry: he really couldn't believe that he couldn't even do something as simple as finding a woman to marry!

He's already got that enviable job! Finding a girl and developing a relationship is nothing! I could do something that's so simple!

Driven by impulse and a clear need, Yang Hao quickly devoured his grilled sandworm leg. He decided to use a special perk he could only use once after transmigrating to this world—a strange thing called a "marriage agency."

This perk can only be used once, and its sole purpose is to find him a **definitely marriage partner**. However, this function requires a mobile phone as its core, so Yang Hao didn't use it when he first transmigrated for various reasons, but now it's coming in handy.

"Jack, you fat bastard! I'll find you a girlfriend next month!" Holding his phone, Yang Hao gritted his teeth and cursed his bad friend who had been bragging about his happy marriage. "Then I'll definitely—huh? Is that all?"

He blinked and noticed that after the ability was activated, his phone had an app with an icon formed by two red hearts stacked together.

Is this what they call a marriage agency? Yang Hao swallowed nervously, reached out and opened the application. After waiting for a while on the unique pink loading screen, he was immediately taken aback by the dazzling array of "soulmates" listed inside.

Although none of those "destined people" had photos or anything like that to help him judge beauty or ugliness, Yang Hao didn't mind as long as they were within the acceptable range.

Besides, as a perk of my time travel, she wouldn't betray me, would she? At the very least, she should be quite pretty, right?

He blinked thoughtfully, then spent a long time browsing through the dazzling list...

The Emperor of Ursus? No, absolutely not. He's just a working-class guy right now; the emperor definitely wouldn't be interested in him—and while it's said that marriage is "absolutely possible," it doesn't mention whether they'll divorce after marriage, right? So, Yang Hao rationally passed on this kind of potential partner.

So—【Deep Sea Hunter】? Hmm... that name sounds really dangerous... Yang Hao thought to himself that even if he got married, he would only be a burden to his partner, so he wisely passed on the idea: he didn't have any hunting abilities, and he couldn't stand living on a ship; he got seasick.

What about the others...?

Yang Hao picked and chose, slid around, and passed over countless strange-sounding guys along the way.

Titles like "Demon King," "Princess of Yan," and "Archaeologist Who Travels Frequently"—these names immediately evoke the image of someone who, despite being surrounded by powerful figures in the last world, ultimately met a tragic end...

He just wanted a stable life! He didn't want to sprint towards the finish line in his life! So after thinking it over, he finally found someone who met all his criteria...

"【The Undying Black Serpent】...Although the name is strange, it must refer to some kind of immortal race, right? Sigh...I'm being picky, let's give it a try."

While the name sounds odd, it's certainly more plausible than that "Emperor of Ursus," right? After all, who knows, the so-called "undying" might just refer to something like the Sarkaz Blood Demon?

Yang Hao nervously swallowed, and finally, he mustered his courage and clicked the button labeled "Bridging Connection".

......

And at the same time.

Ursus, in the audience hall of the Duke of Kosiché.

Having just finished his morning work, the elegant Duke Koschche—an immortal who had only been controlling a woman's body for less than ten days—felt his eyebrows twitch violently a few times.

She vaguely noticed something strange: a piece of paper in front of her inexplicably appeared, and under her gaze, that paper transformed into a strange touchscreen phone.

"What is this?" The immortal black serpent exclaimed in surprise, pulling out the phone that had appeared out of thin air. "Who on earth is using this strange Originium Arts on me? Covert communication?"

She noticed a message had been sent to her.

She subconsciously felt that this must be a secret message that someone or some force wanted to send to her, and the appearance of this phone was too strange, so Duke Koschche was well prepared.

However, when I saw that the title of the message was actually the four big characters "[Marriage Introduction]", I was quite surprised.

For the first time in its thousand-year history, the immortal black serpent showed a look of confusion and bewilderment.

Chapter two

What's going on? What's happening? Duke Kosiché in the audience hall stared blankly at the text message on her newly acquired phone. She scrutinized the message, which clearly belonged to a marriage agency, and wondered if it was a joke played on her by some powerful immortal being.

Who would do such a thing? Who would make such a pointless joke? Duke Kosiché thought to himself, even watching a frog urinate would be more meaningful than sending such a harassing message! What immortal being would do something so meaningless?

...But then again, if it really was spam, there was no need to send the phone along with it, right? So, after thinking it over, the cautious Black Serpent didn't just throw the phone and the message aside. She simply summoned the maids and told them to refuse any visitors during this time, then began to carefully examine the phone in her hand.

This is indeed a smartphone, but Black Snake didn't see any charging ports or battery indicator on it. The phone itself, like its sudden appearance, seems very strange.

Besides its normal communication functions, the only application on this phone is the "Marriage Introduction" app that sends messages...

"..." Is this really not a scheme to use marriage introduction as a pretext to transmit some unknown information? Black Snake shook his head and clicked on the message.

......

Meanwhile, far away in Colombia, Yang Hao sat on his bed, anxiously awaiting a reply. Although he didn't know what kind of text message the so-called "bridging agent" would send, he knew he had to be prepared.

He couldn't be the kind of guy who'd get blacklisted by a girl after just one sentence! Yang Hao swallowed hard, planning what he would say later.

How can I demonstrate my value while leaving a good impression on the other person? Before he could think deeply about this question, he saw several large words pop up on his phone screen.

The immortal black serpent has connected to the communication network.

"what?!"

"I...I'm not ready yet?" Yang Hao stared blankly at the words "[The other party is typing]" in the chat window of the person he was destined to meet.

However, no matter how confused he was, the woman opposite him wouldn't stop greeting him while he was still in a daze.

【Hello, I am the Duke of Cosice. Who are you? Why are you sending me this message?】

...A simple, direct greeting. Yang Hao thought to himself that one of the ideal women he was looking for in his future girlfriend should be a serious, straightforward, and strong woman.

A strong woman... If she is a strong woman, it's probably better not to be so indecisive, right? Ah, aside from keeping the fact that she transmigrated with a cheat ability a secret, she should try to make her purpose clear as much as possible.

She's a strong woman, after all. She's probably 30 years old and still single because of her tough personality, otherwise she wouldn't be on this app... right?

Yang Hao wasn't entirely sure, but he quickly calmed down and, after a moment's thought, wrote down the following message.

【Duke Kosice, hello. My name is Yang Hao—】The initial greeting has been written, so what's next?

He thought for a moment, then decisively wrote down his purpose: a blind date with marriage in mind. After all, a strong woman like him would definitely prefer a direct approach. And even if he was rejected, he wasn't afraid. Yang Hao wasn't the kind of man who thought, "As long as I'm handsome, women should like me." He respected women's opinions. If this potential partner rejected him, well... he could always try his luck with the Emperor of Ursus...

It's no big deal, really. With that thought in mind, he pressed the send button.

......

Meanwhile, in the audience hall of the Duke of Koschke's mansion, the immortal black serpent sat on her throne, looking at the text messages on her phone, her eyebrows twisted into a knot like a pretzel.

"A blind date with marriage in mind?" she murmured to herself, looking thoughtfully at her slender hands in her current body.

The immortal black serpent now occupies the body of an Ursus noblewoman. Although she is over 30 years old, the body is very well maintained. She has long brown hair, which is common among Ursus people, and a beautiful face that even the black serpent, with its thousands of years of experience, would praise.

Moreover, this body has no spouse, meaning it is single in the traditional sense.

So... was the other person simply attracted by the beauty of this body? Black Serpent initially thought the other person was just someone from Ursus who had once seen this body's appearance by chance, but after careful study and careful wording when asking follow-up questions, she discovered that the other person was actually a Colombian, the general manager of a medium-sized company.

The Colombian might have heard of the Duke of Cosice, but as an ordinary manager of a mid-sized company, he couldn't possibly have seen the face of this body. Not to mention, how exactly did he manage to send this phone from Colombia?

Some kind of special Originium Arts? Or something else? The immortal black serpent was very interested in this. She saw the value and added value of this ability: if he could deliver a phone, then he could definitely deliver a bomb. And what about something even more advanced? Sending a living person from Columbia to Ursus, or perhaps delivering an assassin to the Ursus emperor's palace?

There are just too many options available for this ability! The Undying Black Serpent thought that if it could figure out what was going on, whether this ability was this [Blind Date]'s own innate talent or the Originium Arts of some great being, it would definitely be of great help to the prosperity of Ursus.

"...Then let's try talking about it?" she muttered to herself. "At the very least, I need to figure out what this [teleportation ability] is all about..."

The Black Serpent... no, the current Duke Koschei was indulging in a playful mood. Having lived for over a thousand years, she thought she'd seen it all, but now she was witnessing something she'd never seen before. And for her, the only person who dared to propose to the legendary Ursus figure, the "Immortal Koschei"... in the past thousand years, seemed to be this Colombian?

With a "let's have some fun" attitude, the immortal Duke Koschche smiled and sent out the message: "Agree to temporarily use mobile phones for communication."

She hoped this man would bring her a surprise.

third chapter

On the morning of February 8, 1042, when Yang Hao arrived at his workplace—a 20-meter-tall building in the city center of a mobile city that was about to be completed—he felt that spring had come exceptionally early this year, perhaps because he had successfully taken the first step in a blind date the day before.

Good morning, Manager.

"Good morning, Manager. Shouldn't we be able to receive our bonuses today, as per the contract, after the topping-out ceremony?"

"Manager—..."

Along the way, various people from lower classes greeted Yang Hao. Yang Hao smiled and nodded in return, answering any questions that needed to be answered.