LRAB 358. Heartbroken Memories
358. Heartbroken Memories
"I don't really remember many of my childhood memories clearly. I only remember that my family was in a small mountain village back then," Little Fairy Doctor said slowly, as if the moonlight in the night sky was moving and responding to her narration.
"Back then, my father was a mercenary and would often be away from home for a while. But every time he came back, he would have lots of great toys. I used to look forward to my father coming back every day."
"My mother's health is poor; she can't even walk a few steps. Now that I think about it, she may have already been affected by the Calamity Poison Body when she gave birth to me." Little Fairy Doctor's eyes were devoid of any light, filled only with deep self-reproach.
At this moment, Xiao Yan recalled what Yao Lao had told him about how cruel the woman with the Calamity Poison Body he had once encountered was. Judging from Xiao Yi Xian's account, the Calamity Poison Body had a certain effect even before Dou Qi appeared, and it was almost certain that those with it lost their parents at a young age. It was perfectly normal for an unhappy childhood to lead to an extreme personality. Yet, despite all the hardships she had endured, Xiao Yi Xian still maintained a pure and kind heart.
"Father always reassured Mother that he would definitely hire a powerful alchemist to cure her! But with his income as a mercenary, how could he possibly afford an alchemist? It's just that I felt like I was waiting for that day to come, waiting for our family to be able to live together without any worries or illnesses..." Little Fairy Doctor looked up at the starry sky, as if she was hoping for something.
"And then?" Xiao Yan asked at the opportune moment.
"A long time passed like that... On my sixth birthday, my father didn't come back. Everyone in the village was so kind; they all came to my house to celebrate my birthday. Knowing that my mother couldn't do heavy work, many people offered to help. That day, I was really, really happy..."
As Little Fairy Doctor recounted her story, tears began to stream down her beautiful face.
"But in the evening, my playmate suddenly collapsed in front of me... At first, I even thought it was just a joke she was playing on me."
"Then purple mist appeared on my body." Little Fairy Doctor's voice trembled, her tone distorted by uncontrollable tears. She gripped her shoulders tightly, as if seeking a sliver of strength to continue. "Everyone, one after another, fell in front of me. The remaining people were in complete chaos. At first, they were just shouting for the fallen, then they tried desperately to run away. Before they died, they were tormented by the poisonous gas of the Calamity Poison Body, their throats were tightly choked, and their eyes seemed to bulge out of their sockets. Then, dark purple blood flowed all over the ground. I couldn't tell which was blood and which was sunset. The stench of blood permeated the entire village."
Xiao Yan sensed Xiao Yixian's emotional breakdown and gently pulled her into his arms.
"My mother held on until the very end. In her final moments, she told me, 'Xian'er, don't be afraid, Mother is here.'"
The deepest secret within her heart finally found its outlet, and Little Fairy Doctor's tears finally burst forth, blurring her bright, crystal-clear eyes as she was overwhelmed by self-reproach and guilt.
Xiao Yan said nothing; at this moment, actions speak louder than words. He let Little Fairy Doctor vent her emotions in his arms, tears soaking his clothes. Little Fairy Doctor's sobs made him feel the long-accumulated guilt and self-blame within her. Bearing such a heavy burden, Xiao Yan had never known as clearly as he did today how strong Little Fairy Doctor was in his arms.
The two remained seated in this position for half an hour, the sobs of Little Fairy Doctor gradually subsiding as her emotional breakdown subsided. When her tears dried, she looked up at Xiao Yan. Little Fairy Doctor's eyes were still red and swollen, like pear blossoms blooming after the rain, exquisitely beautiful. Any man seeing such a delicate beauty would immediately feel a protective instinct!
"Do you want to hear more?" Little Fairy Doctor's voice was hoarse and off-key from crying.
Xiao Yan said seriously, "If you want to talk, I'll listen; if you don't want to talk, then don't."
Tears were clearly visible on Little Fairy Doctor's face, but there seemed to be a sense of relief in her eyes as if she had released a great deal of pressure: "Later, Father found me and built tombs for Mother and the villagers. Father asked me many times, but at that time I didn't know anything about the Calamity Poison Body, so Father could only take me away."
"For several years afterward, my father made me live the life of a mercenary with him. However, my father's health deteriorated because of my long-term contact with him. At that time, I decided that I must become an alchemist to heal his body. However, I could not control my fighting spirit. I did not have the most basic talent to be an alchemist. Even though I read many medical books and learned a lot, I could not change anything."
"I still caused my father's death. Actually, as I got older, I gradually guessed what happened back then. But every time I was about to tell him, he would always refuse me and say he didn't want to hear it. Although he kept going, his health deteriorated, and in the end, he was completely unable to participate in mercenary activities. My father's mercenary friends never gave up on helping us, which is why we never gave up. At that time, I became the team's doctor. I carefully kept my distance from people so that others wouldn't become like my father."
"When I was fifteen, my father finally couldn't hold on any longer. When he was bedridden, he told me that I would be all alone from now on, and that he was sorry!"
"He told me that I should take good care of myself from now on, and that he and my mother would protect me even in heaven. He was still softly calling my name before he closed his eyes!"
"I buried him and my mother together in the end. It was on that day that the purple poisonous mist that was killing me surged out of my body again. I remembered the Calamity Poison Body that I had seen by chance in a medical book."
"I killed my beloved father and mother with my own hands, and I killed everyone in the manor!" Little Fairy Doctor's eyes were red, and the tears that fell were already blood red.
"I also caused the deaths of that elderly couple in the Izumo Empire. There were so many kind people there..."
"I have caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of innocent people, who probably didn't even understand the cause of their deaths before they died."
"That's just how I am. I bring bad luck to everyone I come into contact with, and it's already affected you." Little Fairy Doctor looked at Xiao Yan sadly. "So, do you think someone like me doesn't deserve to live?"