This ninja in Naruto is unscientific

Chapter 248 Intimate Paradise

In just half a month, Jiraiya had become an unparalleled bestselling author.

But he wasn't happy at the moment; instead, he was drinking alone with Nishikawa Tetsu.

"Another cup, please!"

Jiraiya lay sprawled on the table, his once flowing white hair now a tangled mess, resembling a bird's nest.

He held an empty wine glass in his hand, his face flushed, and his eyes were hazy with a deep, world-weary sorrow.

On the table in front of him lay a pile of crumpled letters and book reviews clipped from newspapers and magazines.

Nishikawa Tetsu sat opposite him, holding a cup of tea, looking at the famous "Mad Demon Jiraiya" who was now drowning his sorrows in alcohol like a heartbroken young man.

"Teacher, why are you doing this? No matter what, your 'The Tale of Perseverance' is now the best-selling masterpiece in the entire Land of Fire, with over 100,000 copies printed. The royalties alone are enough for you to gather material at the hot spring inn for several years." Nishikawa Tetsu tried to comfort him.

"Sales figures? Are those my sales figures? Those are clearly your air conditioner and refrigerator sales figures!"

Jiraiya suddenly raised his head, slammed his fist on the table in grief and anger, causing the wine bottles to rattle loudly.

"Look at these book reviews! Look at how they describe my hard work!"

Jiraiya grabbed a newspaper clipping and began to read it aloud, tears streaming down his face:

"‘This book is the perfect sleeping pill! My chronic insomnia, which I've had for years, was cured after reading just two pages. Thank you, Jiraiya-sama!’ — Is that supposed to be a compliment?!"

"I bought this to buy a discounted rice cooker, and since I didn't want to waste it, I glanced at it out of boredom. I finished it while holding my nose. The protagonist, Naruto, is so stubborn. If I were him, I would have already joined the villains and lived a life of luxury. What's he still holding on to? Is the author out of his mind?"

"This statement is an insult to the Will of Fire!"

"And this is even more infuriating!"

Jiraiya slammed a reader's letter onto the table, his fingers trembling: "Jiraiya-sensei, could you please provide more detailed illustrations or plot descriptions of the female supporting character in your book who always appears in a yukata? My friend really wants to see them."

"These perverts! What are they even focusing on?!"

Nishikawa Tetsu suppressed a laugh, glanced at the letter, and thought: Sure enough, all men are inherently perverts.

"Teacher, this is called market feedback."

Nishikawa Tetsu put down his teacup and began to solemnly expound his business theories.

"You see, although most people aren't interested in that kind of hard-working, resilient spirit, they really appreciate the personal touches you occasionally slip into your books... um... I mean, your delicate portrayal of female characters."

"Are you mocking me?!" Jiraiya's eyes widened, as if he was about to unleash a Rasengan at any moment.

"No, I'm pointing you towards a literary path that's more suitable for you."

Nishikawa Tetsu leaned forward, his eyes becoming deep and sincere, as if discussing some grand plan concerning the future of the ninja world.

"Teacher, think about it, what's your favorite thing to do?"

"Of course, it's to find the chosen one and maintain peace in the ninja world!" Jiraiya declared righteously.

"to be honest."

"...Go to the brothels of various places for great literary research." Jiraiya blushed and his eyes darted around.

"That's right!"

Nishikawa Tetsuichi clapped his hands: "Since this is your passion, and you have so much experience in it, why not make the most of your strengths?"

"The reason why 'The Story of Perseverance' is unpopular is because it's too heavy and too didactic. In this peaceful era that has just emerged from war, what people need more is relaxation, entertainment, and adrenaline-pumping...popular literature!"

Jiraiya was stunned, seemingly sobering up a bit: "Popular literature? You mean...?"

"That's right."

Nishikawa Tetsu's lips curled into a seductive smile.

"Abandon those heavy-handed principles and write what you do best. Describe those poignant love stories, portray those hot and unique female ninjas, and tell those blush-inducing stories that happen on dark and windy nights."

"Take your observations and experiences at the hot spring hotel and artistically process them. Of course, you must keep things within reasonable limits, expressing your feelings while remaining respectful, and evoking imagination without directly crossing any lines."

Seeing Jiraiya's eyes growing brighter and brighter, Nishikawa Tetsuya unleashed his final trump card:

"I've even thought of a title for you: 'Intimacy Paradise'!"

"Honey...Honey Paradise?"

Jiraiya murmured the name repeatedly, as if a bolt of lightning had struck his mind.

All the materials and inspirations he had hidden in his heart, which he had thought of but dared not write into "The Story of Perseverance," erupted like a volcano at this moment.

Yes! Why can't ninjas have emotions and desires? Why must literature be filled with bitterness and hatred?

"This...is this going to work?" Jiraiya swallowed hard, but still hesitated. "I'm one of the Legendary Sannin. If I write a book like this, my father and Tsunade will kill me..."

Jiraiya didn't actually reject pulp fiction; he even enjoyed reading it himself.

"They didn't praise you when you wrote 'The Story of Perseverance and Endurance'."

Nishikawa Tetsuya added mercilessly, "Furthermore, if your 'Make-Out Paradise' becomes a hit, its sales will not only surpass 'The Tale of the Steadfast Ninja,' but the Hokage might even secretly buy a copy and hide it in his desk!"

You know what, you really can't believe it! That old man could do something like this!

This sentence became the last straw that broke the camel's back.

"Okay! I'll write it!"

Jiraiya suddenly stood up, his eyes shining, all traces of his previous dejection gone, as if he had been given a second spring.

"I refuse to believe that after all these years of being a master of romance, I can't write an adult book!"

He grabbed the bottle on the table, took a big gulp, and then turned and rushed out.

"Teacher, where are you going?" Nishikawa Tetsu asked.

"Let's go gather inspiration! I feel like my inspiration is flowing like a spring. I'm going to the biggest red-light district in the capital. Tonight, we're not leaving until we're completely drunk!"

Watching Jiraiya's hurried departure, Nishikawa Tetsu smiled with satisfaction.

A gem in the history of ninja literature, and a source of inspiration for countless single ninjas, "Icha Icha Paradise" is finally about to be released ahead of schedule thanks to his intervention.

"I wonder what Kakashi's expression will be when he sees this book?"

Nishikawa Tetsu stroked his chin, suddenly feeling a sense of anticipation.

When Kakashi comes of age, I'll give him a copy.

This is Kakashi's spiritual sustenance, but I wonder if he still needs it in this world.

"Waiter, check please!" Nishikawa Tetsu tossed down a silver ingot.

In high spirits, he decided to go to the Yanjiu Institute to find Nonoyu and see how much money the noble ladies of the capital had contributed recently.

The skincare products sponsored by the Three Legendary Sannin were a huge hit, with skincare products co-branded by Jiraiya, Orochimaru, and Tsunade igniting the spending enthusiasm of the city's wealthy ladies.