Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 15

"80!!!"

On the third strike, Er Kang became embedded in the dam of Guojiu Lake, impossible to pry off. In the end, Gu Qian had to use a cupping device to suck him out.

And now, the culprit is lying next to him, grinning as he munches on an apple.

Ying: "...Aren't you afraid Zhang Chu will come and deliver another blow?"

Erkang: "It's nothing. He broke a lot of things when he hit me. He's in solitary confinement now."

Ying: "...Didn't you modify the door to the solitary confinement cell?"

Erkang: "Yes, that's why I set it up so that he can only come out after singing 'Mond's Little Melody'."

Ying: "...That song has 27 verses."

Er Kang: "And the pitch must be accurate; if you miss a note, you have to reset."

fluorescent:"……"

(In the solitary confinement room, Zhang Chu was desperately singing into the voice-activated lock: "Da~da la~da da la~")

[Hospital Ward Mini-Drama]

Paimon (floating in carrying honey-grilled roast meat): "Shadow, do you want some... Huh? Why is there an extra wounded person?"

Erkang: "This is called sharing happiness and hardship!"

Ying (pointing to her bandaged buttocks): "This is an undeserved disaster for me!"

Gu Qian (poking his head in through the window): "Want to play cards? We're one short!"

Zhang Chu's singing voice (faintly drifting from afar): "Da~da la~ (voice cracks)... System notification: 26th attempt failed..."

—The noisiest ward record in Mondstadt's medical history was born.

In front of the solitary confinement cell—

The troupe leader couldn't stand it anymore.

(Mainly because Klee was terrified by the new solitary confinement cell door and had tears in her eyes.)

Commander Qin's Wind Eagle Sword cleaved the modified smart door in two.

The moment the door panel fell to the ground, it revealed Zhang Chu, who was facing the voice-activated lock, attempting to sing "Mondstadt" for the 37th time.

"Mr. Zhang Chu..."

Qin's voice trembled slightly; Zhang Chu's murderous aura frightened her.

Claire, nestled in her arms, clung tightly to her cloak—the little one was teary-eyed with fear from the door to the solitary confinement cell.

Zhang Chu at this moment—

The mask was half broken.

He held in his hand a draft of "On the Compatibility of Vocal Music and Cryptography".

Surrounded by visible black mist

"Thank you, Commander."

Zhang Chu spoke slowly and deliberately, dragging a... guillotine? from the ruins!

"wait wait wait!"

Qin quickly took two steps back.

"This instrument of torture is..."

"Don't worry, it's just a model."

Zhang Chu pushed up his tattered mask.

"Used for psychological experiments."

(The blade of the guillotine clearly reads "For Er Kang's Use")

Ten minutes later, in the West Wind Church ward—

The ward window suddenly shattered, and Zhang Chu, carrying a guillotine, broke through the window and entered.

Er Kang, who was eating an apple, suddenly froze, and the apple core got stuck in his throat.

Ying silently covered her head with the blanket: "I didn't see anything..."

"Wait, Lao Zhang! Let me explain!"

Er Kang, dragging his leg in a cast, tried to run away, but ended up rolling off the bed.

"That voice-activated lock actually has a hidden surprise! You can unlock a limited-edition skin by singing it 50 times!"

The guillotine's support frame has been deployed.

Gu Qian suddenly poked his head out from the doorway: "Do you need help holding it down?"

Zhang Chu: "..."

"Aaaaaah, help me!!"

Erkang's screams echoed throughout Mondstadt.

Downstairs, Wendy and Qingyu counted the bets on Mora: "How many pieces will Ya'erkang be cut into?"

Chapter 16 Annihilation of the Treasure-Hunting Gang

The sun was shining brightly in Mondstadt Square.

Four visitors from another world, all dressed as Hilichurls, were lounging listlessly by the fountain.

Zhang Chu adjusted his newly repaired mask: "In that case, let's go to the Cat's Tail Tavern and try Diona's cooking."

Qingyu immediately poured cold water on the idea: "Hey, Diona's the bartender today, are you still going?"

He pointed to the long queue stretching all the way to the city gate in the distance.

"See that? Even the merchant corps from Liyue is bringing deck chairs and queuing up."

At the front of the line, a Winter Merchant was holding up a sign: [Buying Diona Special, 100 million Mora per cup]

"Then why don't we go find Noelle?"

Er Kang's eyes lit up.

"That little girl has a very good personality!"

Qingyu sighed and took out his pocket watch: "After Noelle found out Ying was hospitalized..."

He pressed a button on his pocket watch, projecting an image from ten minutes earlier:

The moment the maid-knight heard the news, her teacup fell to the ground with a "clatter."

The next second, it broke the sound barrier and rushed towards the church.

The shockwave behind them knocked the three Favonius Knights to the ground.

The final image freezes on the moment Noelle bursts through the hospital room door.

Er Kang frantically ripped at the bandage on his head.

"How come that girl is so lucky! I knew I shouldn't have recovered so quickly!" (Completely forgetting that she was hospitalized after being hit by Zhang Chu's lightning hammer)

Gu Qian lay sprawled on the ground like a pool of melting slime: "So what should we do...?"

Even the horns of the Thunder King drooped listlessly.

Just when the four were at their wits' end—

"Hey, you guys seem pretty relaxed today~"

Kaiya walked over with elegant steps.

The four of them immediately perked up, and even Gu Qian, who was lying on the ground, sprang to his feet.

"There's something I'd like to ask you all for a favor."

Kaiya lowered his voice mysteriously and pulled out a stack of wanted posters from his pocket.

"Recently, a group of thieves has been operating around, specifically stealing historical artifacts from Mondstadt."

Qingyu took the wanted poster, which depicted a sleazy-looking man with the note: "[Code name 'Strange Bird,' skilled in disguise and escape]."

"This guy is as slippery as an eel."

Kaiya helplessly shrugged.

"They have escaped our encirclement three times in a row."

Er Kang suddenly rubbed his hands together excitedly: "So you want to..."

Kaiya revealed a sly smile.

"I hope to use your 'special' methods to deal with this slippery fellow. As for the reward..."

He shook his bulging money bag, and the mora made a crisp sound as it clattered together.

The four exchanged glances, and Qingyu said, "Deal! But we need to add one condition."

"After we catch him, let us 'entertain' him for ten minutes first."

Zhang Chu added.

Looking at the four people's dangerous smiles, Kaeya suddenly felt a pang of sympathy for the strange bird: "Cough cough... just keep breathing."

"Do not worry!"

Er Kang pulled out a giant bird-catching net from somewhere.

"We're experts at 'hospitating' guests!"

After watching Kaeya leave, the four of them immediately found Wendy.

"Huh? You're asking me about the strange bird's hiding place?"

Wendy blinked her innocent big eyes, poking her cheek with her finger, looking just like a wronged little deer.

"Why did you have to choose a harmless bard like me?"