Genshin Impact: My roommate and I became funny Hilichurls

Page 88

"Everyone! Good news! My master has left! Don't worry, I, Tadalia, am completely unharmed!"

Tartaglia walked in with dark circles under his eyes resembling those of a raccoon, a swollen left cheek, and a band-aid on the corner of his mouth. He limped in, but tried to straighten his chest and give everyone a bright smile (though it aggravated his wounds and made him grimace) and a thumbs up.

Everyone stared at his face, which looked as if it had just been ravaged by a relic-themed heavy machine, and fell into a deathly silence.

Paimon flew closer, pointed his little finger at Tartaglia's face, and exclaimed in shock, "You call this 'unscathed'? Your face is practically a Liyue ink painting!"

Ying sighed, rubbing her forehead: "...You're completely redefining the word 'unscathed'."

Navelette even subconsciously reached for her legal code, seemingly pondering whether "falsely advertising the severity of injuries in Fontainebleau is illegal."

"What heinous thing did you do to your master yesterday?"

Unable to contain his curiosity, Qingyu leaned forward to examine Dadalia's "injuries".

"So, the first thing she'll do after regaining her power is beat you up like this?"

"Um...well..."

Tadalia scratched his orange hair sheepishly, but accidentally touched the bruise on his forehead, making him gasp in pain.

"Hehe, it's just... back when we were training, didn't Master always like to toss me around like a punching bag, or kick me into all sorts of weird spatial rifts, you know..."

He paused, a smug smile playing on his lips—a mixture of nostalgia and triumphant satisfaction at his successful "courting disaster": "It's rare for Master to shrink down like this, sleeping so defenselessly in front of me... Such a rare opportunity! Of course I have to... collect a little bit of interest!"

Zhang Chu retorted expressionlessly, "So, did you draw a turtle on her face, or did you braid her hair?"

"Something a bit more exciting than that!"

D'Artagnan's eyes lit up, but then he grimaced as the muscles pulled on his wound.

"I...I secretly sprinkled a lot of itching powder on her, and I even got Wolf King to do it! And then...hehe, I also recorded a short video of her wrestling with herself in bed at night..."

Everyone: "..."

The air was thick with sympathy that said, "You're not just courting death, you're practically asking for it" (along with a hint of schadenfreude).

"...She would definitely beat you to a pulp."

Qingyu finally concluded helplessly, patting D'Artagnan's relatively intact shoulder.

"Brother, you're lucky to have survived."

"Haha, it's nothing!"

D'Artagnan remained optimistic, or perhaps more accurately, oblivious, and laughed.

"This proves that Master is still as skilled as ever! His skills are still as agile as ever! As his disciple, I am very pleased!"

My butt still hurts terribly...

Paimon twirled his little finger in the air: "Looks like you not only have to handle Winter's diplomacy, but also prepare some medicine for your wounds..."

Just then, a clear, cold voice came from the doorway:

Ajax.

D'Artagnan froze, his smile instantly turning to ice.

He turned his head slowly, like a rusty robot.

Skork, now back to her cold and powerful self, was leaning against the doorframe with her arms crossed, her eyes sharp as knives.

She gently tossed a... familiar, Tatalia-style phonograph camera.

"About that 'short video'..."

Silky's red lips curved slightly, revealing a smile that sent chills down D'Artagnan's spine.

"I think we can have a good 'discussion' about what it means to respect teachers and value their teachings."

D'Artagnan: "!!!"

"Master! Please let me explain! It's a memento! A beautiful memory!"

D'Artagnan screamed in pain and, ignoring his injuries, turned and tried to run away.

With a swift movement, Skykirk grabbed him by the back of his collar and threw him into a small hut.

Without turning her head, Skirk shouted outside.

"Can I borrow your 'spiky club' for a moment? I want the kind with a massage function."

Gu Qian's honest voice came through: "Alright! I have some that's just been pampered!"

D'Artagnan's wailing echoed through the sky: "No, Master! I was wrong! I was really wrong—!"

Everyone turned around in tacit agreement, some drinking tea, others admiring the scenery.

Yes, Fontainebleau is peaceful (and lively) as usual today.

"Awooo—! Ohoohoohoo!!"

"Yay—!!"

"Ah ah ah ah ah--!!!"

"Bang! Bang bang bang bang!!"

The heavy, rhythmic sounds of impact were incessant, interspersed with a concerto of shattering porcelain, flying glass, and twisting metal.

The group stood outside the hut, looking at the pitiful building with varying expressions.

The cabin seemed to come alive at that moment, putting on a wild dance.

It sometimes bounced violently up and down, like it was dancing at a disco; sometimes it swayed wildly from side to side; and even suspicious black smoke was coming out of the chimney on the roof.

Various items were constantly being "sprayed" out of the cabin's windows, door cracks, and even the chimney:

A cushion with a smiley face printed with "Most Popular Toy Salesman in Winter" flew out and hit Paimon in the face.

A set of exquisite teaware, along with its tray, flew out in a spinning motion, which Navelette instinctively caught precisely with her scepter and placed steadily to the side.

A twisted wrought iron chair was embedded in a tree trunk not far away.

Even a few disoriented ice crystal butterflies flew out, tracing chaotic paths in the air.

Ying couldn't help but look at Lei Douwang, who had a simple and honest face, beside her.

"Your spiked club... it even has a 'massage function'?"

She emphasized the last four words.

Gu Qian scratched his head and answered honestly, "Yeah, I installed a few vibration runes, saying they can relax muscles and relieve muscle fatigue... It seems to be quite effective."

He was quite proud of it.

Qingyu stroked his chin and commented, "Judging from the noise, Ms. Skykirk has really loosened up all the muscles that haven't been used in five hundred years. The Tartaglia brothers are truly... meritorious."

Zhang Chu added expressionlessly: "I suggest that Dattalia apply for workers' compensation from Zhidong, on the grounds that: 'Assisting Master in high-intensity rehabilitation training has resulted in serious personal and property damage.'"

Furina quietly tugged at Navelette's sleeve and whispered, "Navelette, in this situation... should we apply for a 'building hazard warning'? Or call the doctor... and the renovation team in advance?"

Navelette glanced at the still-bouncing hut and calmly took a sip of water: "According to Fontaine Law, 'master-disciple exchanges' within private residences are not subject to interference as long as they do not endanger public safety. As for the doctor and the renovation crew..."

He glanced at the increasing amount of "spray" on the ground.

"You can make an appointment in advance."

Just then, the noise from the cabin finally subsided.

"Squeak-"

With a thud, the cracked wooden door was pushed open.

Silky walked out refreshed, brushing off non-existent dust from her hands. Her usually aloof face now showed a hint of rosy cheeks and a sense of well-being from exercise.

She even elegantly tidied her slightly messy hair.

Behind her, the interior of the small house looked as if it had been swept away by a category 10 typhoon, a complete mess.

As for Dadalia... we haven't seen her yet.

A few seconds later, a trembling hand emerged from a pile of furniture rubble, swayed weakly, and then fell down with a "thud".

Silky glanced back and said calmly, "Don't worry, he's not dead. He just needs a little time... to reassemble."

Everyone: "..."

It seems that Silky's anger has subsided for the time being.

And Datalia's "respect for teachers" course has probably only just begun.

Chapter 103 Paradox

“Ding ding ding! Ding ding ding!”

A sharp, urgent electronic sound suddenly rang out, interrupting everyone's chatter.

Zhang Chu was taken aback. He pulled out a cyberpunk-style device that kept flashing red light from his seemingly ordinary belt. After just one glance, his brows furrowed tightly.

"What happened? Did your pressure cooker explode?"

Qingyu leaned closer and asked curiously.

"It's more serious than that."

Zhang Chu shook his head with a solemn expression.

"Something has happened in Mondstadt. Urgent communication: Abedo has been identified as the murderer."

"What?! Abelardo?!"

Ying and Paimon exclaimed in unison, their faces filled with disbelief.

How could a calm, gentle scholar like Abelardo, who was obsessed with alchemy all day long, be involved with a murderer?

"I see……"

Qingyu, Erkang, and Guqian seemed to suddenly understand something, and their expressions showed realization.

"We've already reached the plot of 'The Paradox'..."

Er Kang stroked his chin, looking every bit the seasoned spoiler enthusiast.

"Speaking of which, what exactly was this part? I'm a little confused. Let me check the script."